


Who Wants To Live Forever?

by E350tb



Series: Eternal Connie [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: I am a hopeless romantic, Immortality, Light Angst, POV First Person, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11382450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Reeling from a discovery about herself, Connie has a chat with somebody who might be able to understand.





	Who Wants To Live Forever?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my oneshot, Changes. So I suppose that's not a oneshot anymore.

**Who Wants To Live Forever?**

_Who wants to live forever?  
Who dares to love forever?_

My name is Connie, and I’m going to live forever.

I don’t mean in the sense that I’m going to become famous, or that I’m going to something that affects people for the rest of history. I mean that I have a rock in my stomach and now I’m literally going to live forever, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Although to be honest, I’ve only known for a few weeks.

I’m sitting on the grass next to the lighthouse, looking out over the ocean. According to Pearl, this is where it all began, when I swallowed Steven’s healing spit. It seems incredible, _preposterous_ , that something like that could change things so much – could change _me_ so much. It’s funny – I always dreamed about having some sort of magical destiny, and now that I actually have it, I don’t think I want it. Careful what you wish for, huh?

Mom and dad…they aren’t taking it well. I can’t blame them. How do they feel, knowing that I’m going to live an eternity after they die? I mean, if I live as long as a gem is supposed to, they’ll only have been in my life for a microscopic fraction of it. Will I even remember them in a thousand years? Ten thousand? A million? Fluorite said the Off-Colours had been in the Homeworld tunnels for eons! How long even _is_ an eon?!

It’s just…it’s so _long_ , and I have no idea how to process that.

“You wanna talk about it?”

I look up. A few years ago, the person behind me would have been the last person I’d expect to ask that question.

“Oh,” I sigh, “Hey Lars.”

Lars sits down, his neon pink skin shimmering slightly in the sunlight. We sit quietly for a while before he talks.

“So, Steven’s dad told us what happened,” he says, “You feeling okay?”

I sigh heavily.

“No,” I reply, “I’m not. I…I don’t know how to deal with this.”

Lars shrugs.

“If it means anything, I’ve been immortal for a few years and I still don’t know how to deal,” he says, “At least you’re not pink, huh?”

He chuckles, but his face soon falls. He lies on his back.

“I never wanted to live forever,” he says, “Heck, when this happened, I didn’t even really want to _live_. I never even came up here, because I was afraid I might just…”

He trails off. I don’t know what to say to that, so I say nothing.

He shakes his head.

“It’s totally messed up,” he continues, “But dying and coming back was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m more confident, I have a relationship, I have a weird new family…but every time I’m with Buck, or my parents, or Sadie, I just think…”

“…that they’re gonna die one day,” I say.

“…and I’ll still be here,” Lars nods.

He sighs again. There’s a lot of sighing happening up here today.

“But I have to remember,” he says, “Even though I’ll have to say goodbye to my parents and Sadie one day, I’m not going to have to do that with Fluorite, or the Rutiles, or Rhodonite and Padparadsha. I’m never gonna be alone. I guess I’m sort of lucky, even if I don’t feel like that most of the time.”

“So, no plans for pink zombie Sadie?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

Lars frowns, and I realise I’ve said the wrong thing. Before I can apologise, he speaks.

“She asked,” he replies, “She asked if Steven could do it to her, if she…”

His eyes water.

“It’s messed up, Connie,” he says, “It’s just…it’s really messed up. But you can’t just give up, y’know? You gotta keep living. And yeah, everybody’s gonna die, and it’s gonna suck, but I’ll always have the Off-Colours, and you’ll always have Steven.”

“But what if something happens?” I ask, “What if we get to the point where we can’t stand each other?”

“And what if you don’t?” Lars replies.

He wipes his eyes and smiles. Awkwardly, I smile back.

“Thanks Lars,” I say, “Or maybe I should say…what is it again…”

“Bingo Bongo,” Lars says, smirking.

“Bingo Bongo,” I reply, grinning back.

* * *

My name is Connie, and I’m going to live forever.

I’m on the beach now, sitting with Steven. We’ve talked it over, but now I think I just need to de-stress.

He stands up and offers his hand. I take it, and we start to dance.

I know the road ahead won’t be easy – sometimes, it’s gonna be tragic. But I look into Steven’s eyes, and I know I won’t be doing this alone.

We begin to glow, my form mixing with his. My thoughts begin to swirl around, melding with his. Where I end and Steven begins becomes unclear, then irrelevant. Some might find that scary, but I can honestly say it’s one of my favourite sensations.

I’ll have to say goodbye to Mom and Dad one day. I’ll have to say goodbye to Dad one day. I don’t want to have to think about it – and right now, I don’t have to. Right now, I’m here with Steven and I’m here with Connie and I’m _me_ and that’s all that matters.

I finish glowing, smiling and hugging myself as I look out to sea.

My name is Stevonnie, and I’m going to love forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Pink!Lars is a miracle we are lucky to have witnessed.


End file.
